You’re Always Right. Now, Shut Up!

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Believe it or not, I know some things about some things. I’m certainly not the smartest person, but I am pretty OK at general things. Have a question about Canadian labour practice? Want to know what a specific political party’s running platform? Have a question about European history? Ask me! If I don’t know the answer, I more than likely have a book that I can reference to find it. My level of intelligence is directly related to my self-esteem. I take great pride in having a good education that I worked very hard to achieve. I had no free rides, and I put a lot of sweat and tears into improving myself, and proving to myself that I was capable of doing it. I LOVE debating things with friends and loved ones, I love learning peoples opinions, and I love defending my own. Friendly debates are healthy and mentally stimulating and should never hurt feelings or cause anger from any party involved.

I’m sure we all know that one person who knows everything – and no, I’m not referring to myself. That one person who will argue you until they are blue in the face – and when you prove yourself right? They are pissed at you and refuse to keep talking to you. They are the bully on the playground who takes the ball and leaves when he is called out. So here is my rant to you; oh brilliant one who has all of the answers to the questions of the universe, oh wise and omniscient know-er of all facts, including the ones that pertain to subjects you know nothing about. Are you ready? Pay attention.

Does my brain intimidate you? Good. It wouldn’t if you didn’t think yourself inferior to me. I’m starting to like that you get so frustrated that you resort to mindless insults or silence. You’re giving me a superiority complex. I don’t make you feel that way, you do. Being alive longer does not guarantee that you are smarter than anyone, and age does not entitle you to always be right. No one wants to discuss anything with you because the risk of making you mad isn’t worth it. The last time I tried discussing politics with you, you got mad and had tears in your eyes. How is that defending your opinion? If you think you’re right, fucking prove it! Use your knowledge of a subject to teach me something new! Change my opinion! We don’t have to agree on everything, but if you can’t appreciate that I have an opinion, I won’t respect yours either. The real kicker for me is that we have a mutual acquaintance who acts the EXACT SAME WAY as you, and you constantly bitch and complain about what an arrogant asshole he is, and how irritating it is that he has to always be right; but you are NO DIFFERENT. You’re both in the same category as  far as I’m concerned. The only difference between the two of you is that you shower occasionally. There’s nothing wrong with me thinking that I’m smart, everyone should celebrate their intelligence. I’ve worked DAMN HARD to know the things that I know, and I continue to learn and evolve daily, why can’t you do the same? If you aren’t interested in changing your beliefs or opinions based on new evidence and facts, at least have the courtesy not to yell at me every time you ask for my opinion and I give it to you.

You are also incredibly smart, and talented in a variety of areas, but your own unwillingness to accept other people’s talents tarnishes your own. I shouldn’t have to be afraid to tell you anything, nor should I downplay my successes to make you feel better about yourself. There are always going to be people in your day-to-day that know a multitude of things that you don’t know, and that’s not wrong. Your high horse is growing weary under the weight of your ignorance.

I love you, and I look forward to the day that I don’t have to worry about hurting your feelings over trivial events or conversations. Until then, I will continue to make you feel inferior because you think I do it to you intentionally. Just remember, it’s not me; it’s you. I’ll keep forgiving you because I have to, but I’m running out of patience and fucks to give.

Now that I have gotten that off of my chest I will admit that I sound completely arrogant in this post, but come on – there’s only so much I can take. EVERY WORD that comes out of my mouth is an affront to this person. They are the type of person that asks me a question and then argues over the answer I give. It’s gotten to the point where we can’t discuss a TV show without it ending in a fight and the silent treatment. Why ask my advice or opinion if you just want to rip me apart? Or is that what this is about? You feel intimidated and that upsets you, but you can’t figure out a way to refute my arguments, so you resort to anger and rudeness in the hopes that I will stop sharing with you and you can go back to feeling superior. I get it, I personally love feeling superior, I don’t know anyone that doesn’t – but part of actually being a superior human being instead of just thinking that you are is acknowledging that you are not the be-all end-all of the universe, and that quiet intelligence is always more attractive than loud arrogance or ignorance. The point of being educated is not to rub it in people’s faces, but to all exchange information and learn from each other. Being superior is knowing that you can learn something from everyone.

The bottom line is this: I don’t want to hurt you, and I don’t want you to make you feel bad about yourself; but I also don’t want to make myself feel bad to try and appease you. I have self-respect, and I cannot allow you to get in the way of it. Instead of bullying me, why don’t you take a look inward and see what it is about yourself that is causing you to attack me constantly. I get defensive easily, just like you. You try to make me feel bad, I will make sure that you feel bad. I don’t like that part of myself – I can admit that. We deserve to be happy around each other. Can we please work on that?

Temper tantrum over. For now.

#ilovesentencefragments

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3 thoughts on “You’re Always Right. Now, Shut Up!

  1. Where do I start? I have someone in my life who is 78, and she has gotten more verbally abusive & irrational as the years have gone by. After spending only two hours with her today, I’m so fucking exhausted and frustrated that I could cry. I don’t cry much these days. The three powerful psych meds I take block crying for the most part. But I’m pretty damn close to tears after being verbally abused yet again, in front of my two little kids to boot.

    This person clearly loves me, but she’s mentally ill. She thinks she’s just fine & dandy, if you know what I mean. Here’s just one example that she has a problem: shortly after I gave birth to my first child she sobbed to me that she was “having my postpartum depression” and that she felt “suicidal”. She denied it later on.

    To top things off, she thinks she knows way more about bipolar disorder than I do!! Well, she doesn’t have bipolar disorder and she hasn’t researched it as thoroughly as I have since 2007 (understatement!), so I definitely know a little more than she does!

    It’s heartbreaking to be around someone who has the potential to be wonderful, loving, funny, etc., but most of the time doesn’t act that way towards me. I walk on eggshells around her – which is phrase typically used with those who have borderline personality disorder, the mental illness I believe her to have.

    Ain’t nothing I can to do get her to seek help. I’ve tried getting her help for years and years. She’s fine and she’s a “medically trained professional” (speech pathologist) so she clearly knows what she’s doing in all aspects of her life and mine.

    I’m so shattered and disappointed yet again, utterly drained of all energy, that maybe I’ll actually sleep well tonight. I promised her that tomorrow I would be kinder to her (after the first 5 minutes with her today I went into defensive, sarcastic, eye-rolling, cursing bitch mode – I ***hate*** being like that) since we’re spending more time together then. She said that she’d be more rested and would be nicer….in the manner that an alcoholic swears she won’t have another sip.

    As you wrote, “We deserve to be happy around each other”. I agree.

    For what feels like the zillionith time, I’m hoping for a miracle that our argumentative, tense, negative dynamic softens around one another and my children, even a little bit.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Arent they just the most educated in the areas that they view as faults in us!!! I *couldn’t possibly* know as much as her about my own life and illnesses – and of course, she’s ‘perfectly fine’ and (her words) NOT mentally defective.
      My paternal grandmother used to fly off of the handle at anything, and would tell us that she was going to commit suicide because of us. Finally I told her to quit talking and do it – if her life was so awful, do us the favour and do it. I felt awful, but I had reached my breaking point! We don’ talk at all anymore.

      My heart hurts that this holiday time is stressful for you. It isn’t fair to anyone involved. Your family deserves a peaceful holiday, and YOU deserve this person being good to you. I can’t imagine how anyone could be cruel to you. You and your family are in my thoughts and my heart! Choose to be thankful for the wonderful gifts you have, and most importantly; be thankful that you will NEVER be that person. You are amazing!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I adore you!!! You are one of the best gifts blogging has given me – I hope whatever you & the family are up to right now, you’re having a good time.

        Your paternal grandmother sounds like a piece of work – I’m sorry you aren’t in touch, but from the sound of it, it’s for the best for *your* mental health!!!! I would have seriously told her the same thing – off yourself if we’re driving you to it! 😦 That sucks though.

        I made it through today with Mrs. Borderline and my girls without jumping out of the car while it was moving! (Been there, done that!!) We went to Target, my choice, which I knew was going to be a battle walking in the door. She gets a charge out of humiliating me in public, treating me like a servant, especially in front of the staff at a store or restaurant. When she started to really push my buttons while we got in line to check out, I told her I’d wait in the car for her and the girls (who were old enough to be with her and safe with her – I’m the wild card) and that’s what I did.

        She bought us $600 worth of stuff!!! Yes, she can be incredibly generous. She also sent me some gifts that arrived yesterday on top of that!!!!!! But there’s a price to pay for her generosity.

        The girls have new shoes, new bedding, etc. etc. I threw in some stuff for Lucy including a $40 cushy dog bed! 😉 I love that beast & the poor thing has been sleeping on a hard floor. No more of that.

        We have such limited income that the girls really needed everything we threw into the cart. I don’t feel all that guilty for her splurging on us – I feel like I *earned* it! But I am drained. I do feel a little guilt, I guess.

        It wasn’t all bad; there were moments when she was sane, and the mother of my dreams – but they were fleeting. The crazy crap that went on all day has given me a raging headache. I’m going to go sweat it out on the elliptical, since I don’t drink or take benzos anymore!

        she comes over tomorrow – at least I’ll be with just my family! I can go hide in the bathroom too!!! 🙂 Will PM you soon!
        :))))

        XOXOXOX

        Liked by 1 person

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